Cooking?

Lately I've been feeling really depressed about my relationship (long stupid story that I'll save for later). I really need to not let that control my mood so often and so intensely. When I get depressed I like a lot of distractions, so I'm reading three books right now and am watching entirely too much TV. What's weird is I've been watching the Food Network all the time, and I don't cook... like at all. It's a little embarrassing. (Wanna know something even more embarrassing? I think I'm getting a crush on Bobby Flay XD).

Anyway, I was thinking I might give cooking a try. I am nineteen, and I will theoretically not be living at home anymore in a relatively small number of years. Plus I just really need something to focus on that isn't sad or frustrating (or maybe I'm speaking too soon..). Wish me luck.

My Friends are Back!

Three of my friends from high school are home from college for a little while. I should probably explain that I only stayed in school through my sophomore year before I started being home-schooled. I had actually been asking my parents since middle school if they would let me leave school and be home-schooled, but they always said no. Starting in sixth grade I was having panic attacks at school, and when I got home I would lock myself in my room and cry and wonder what was wrong with me and how I could possibly do it again the next day. I would miss as many days as I could get away with by pretending to be sick or "missing" the bus since I was alone in the mornings and obviously couldn't drive yet. I could go on and on about middle school, but that's for another day.

One would think that the more time I spent in school the easier it would get, but for some reason that wasn't the case. By my sophomore year I was crying at school almost everyday and could barely sleep. I would make myself throw up to avoid going to school, and lie about having thrown up there to get sent home. My parents finally decided I needed a change, which I've always appreciated, so I was done with high school.

Anyway, back on topic... I haven't seen these girls in a few years, so this is pretty exciting. I became friends with them in fourth grade and if it weren't for them I doubt I would have tried anything new or been the least bit courageous throughout school. I wanted them to think I was more daring than I really was and so I joined art club and band (I was pretty much a beast at the clarinet for a few years), which were really interesting. I messaged one of them on facebook a while back saying that I miss her, hoping maybe she was home. She texted me a few days ago and said that she and two of my other friends wanted to see me sometime this week before they go back. That was unexpected and awesome. I reeeeeally hope it happens and goes well >.<.

Obligatory Introduction

I never know how to write about myself, but in the event that anyone decides to read this blog they should probably know a little bit about me. I'm a nineteen-year-old sociology major and English literature minor at Miami University in Ohio. My dream is to be a novelist. Nothing written but fanfiction thus far, unfortunately. I'm also an occasional photographer (all the pictures you see here are mine unless I mention otherwise), but I live near some woods that I think anyone could go into and capture something beautiful.

As the blog title suggests, I'm quiet and live largely in my head. It goes beyond that, actually; I have social phobia and other problems with anxiety and depression. A large part of this blog will be about my struggles with that because I've found it's something few people understand and it's hard to talk about it with anyone in my personal life. I feel incredibly restricted by my timidity because I think I'm an intelligent person, but my fear and insecurity keep me pretty silent in the real world, so I thought a blog would be a great outlet and a way of reaching out. I'm not really sure how this will go or if I'll receive any response, but I'm feeling optimistic : ).